I only get to see my gran once a year and how I treasure her. Ninety years old and standing at under 5ft I doubt whether she'd get onto all the rides at Disney Land. Her husband has been dead for 50 years and passed away from lung cancer when my mother was just 7. 朝子 regularly tends to his grave (and other neglected grave sites as well) and utters a prayer of thanks to him every morning. I'm not trying to be soppy or melodramatic because frankly, who cares, but the devotion is irrefutable.

She never remarried but worked hard raising 4 children on her own. Being a single mother in post-war Japan was no easy feat especially in such a patriarchal society. It's still ridiculous today so how ridiculous it must have been in the 50s/60s. I've never heard her utter a grimace, say a bad word against anyone or complain. I want to stay close to her for as long as I can. Is it a ridiculous idea taking another gap year and just living in Japanese wilderness where there are actually no white people? Atleast I can get away from disgusting London/England and maybe apply to Oxford/somewhere Romantic far away (I like old libraries okay)? She doesn't have that much time left and I want to make the most of it. Leaving her was the hardest thing i've done in a while. I don't give a shit about hedonism, just my gran.